Bianca Esteves

A conversation with Bianca Esteves

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  Curiosity about what makes us human, I suppose. I took a rather scenic route through the corporate world before finding my way to psychology. Somewhere along the way, I realised that what interested me most wasn't what people did, but what moved them, what hurt, what mattered, and what made life meaningful. Psychotherapy felt like a place where those questions could be explored without rushing towards answers.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  Jungian psychology is my foundation, but Buddhist philosophy, Taoism and existential thought have deeply influenced how I relate to human experience. I find myself returning to the same questions: Can we meet life as it is, rather than as we think it should be? Can we stay curious in the face of uncertainty? And can we make room for the paradoxes of being human without needing to resolve them all?

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  The places where we lose touch with ourselves, and the many ways we find our way back. Repeating relationship patterns, the tension between belonging and being ourselves, the body's expressions of what words haven't quite reached, and the moments when life asks us to reconsider who we thought we were. I'm especially interested in what happens when we approach these experiences with curiosity rather than judgement.

• What methods do you use?

  It depends on who is sitting across from me and what the moment calls for. My foundation is Jungian psychotherapy, and I may integrate conversation, dream work, active imagination, art therapy, EFT, Matrix Reimprinting and somatic exploration, informed by my ongoing Somatic Experiencing training. But techniques are invitations, never prescriptions. The therapeutic relationship comes first, and we discover together what feels meaningful.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  Sometimes something shifts in the very first conversation. Sometimes it takes longer, and sometimes progress doesn't look like what we expected. It might be a little more space between feeling and reacting, a moment of kindness towards yourself, or noticing a familiar pattern before stepping into it again. I don't believe change follows a timetable. We stay curious about what progress means to you, rather than measuring it against someone else's idea of where you should be.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Profoundly, and not always comfortably! Years of personal analysis have taught me that understanding myself and actually meeting myself are two different things. Therapy hasn't made life uncomplicated, nor has it turned me into someone who always knows what she's doing. Thankfully. It has helped me become more curious, more compassionate and more willing to stay present with the complexity of being human. It's an ongoing relationship with myself, rather than a destination.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  The privilege of being invited into someone's inner world. I'm endlessly moved by the creativity, contradictions, tenderness and resilience of human beings. And I love those moments when something unexpected emerges between us: a new perspective, a laugh in the middle of something difficult, a little more room to breathe. It's work that continually reminds me how much there is to learn, and how little any of us can take for granted.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Of course! Bad hair days, bad mood days, days when meditation feels impossible and days when I could really use my own therapist (thankfully, I have one). Being a therapist doesn't exempt me from being human. If anything, it makes me more appreciative of how wonderfully messy we all are.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  Perhaps our growing disconnection: from ourselves, one another, our bodies and the natural world. We live in a culture that often rewards speed, productivity and certainty, while leaving little room for vulnerability, contemplation or simply being. I wonder what might change if we became a little less interested in fixing everything and a little more willing to listen, to ourselves and to each other.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  Five books come to mind, each for a different reason.
  
  *The Alchemist*, by Paulo Coelho, for its beautiful invitation to listen to what calls us, trust the unfolding of life and have the courage to follow our own path.
  
  *When Things Fall Apart*, by Pema Chödrön, opened the door to Buddhist philosophy for me when the pandemic hit. At a time of so much uncertainty, it introduced me to the possibility of meeting discomfort with compassion, staying present with what we cannot control and finding courage without needing everything to be okay.
  
  *The Body Keeps the Score*, by Bessel van der Kolk, was a turning point in my understanding of trauma and the body. It helped me recognise why insight and words alone aren't always enough, and deepened my journey into somatic approaches.
  
  *Images of the Unconscious*, by Nise da Silveira, whose pioneering work showed me how artistic expression can give form to experiences beyond words, bringing unconscious material into awareness and opening possibilities for healing.
  
  And *The Secret of the Golden Flower*, an ancient Taoist text accompanied by a commentary from Carl Jung. I'm drawn to its imagery of inner transformation and the idea that some things unfold not through force, but through attention. It's a beautiful meeting point between Eastern philosophy and Jungian psychology, two traditions that continue to nourish my curiosity.
  
  Together, these books remind me that there are many ways of knowing ourselves, and that transformation doesn't always begin with an explanation.