Mr Marcus Dally-Law

A conversation with Marcus Dally-Law

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  I had considered moving into mental health at different times in my life, but it wasn't until 2012, when I was diagnosed with testicular cancer that I had the real 'aha' moment that made me turn my life around and begin on the road to counselling.
  
  I remember that I sat down and wrote a list of every job, position or role I had had during my life - then considering each one, wrote down which parts of each role I found real fulfillment in. In pretty much every role, the thing that I enjoyed the most was working with people - helping them to discover new skills and abilities in themselves, watching as they experienced change and celebrating with them their successes.
  
  It brought me to a moment of clarity - where I suddenly realised that counselling was the obvious role for me, and that almost everything I had done up until that point was almost a precursor to my current work.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  There are some clear influences in the counselling sphere - Person-centred therapy, Narrative Therapy, Gestalt Therapy and Solutions focused therapy have all had a major influence on me.
  
  But beyond these, there are learnings from other fields which have influenced me. One of the most impactful has been David Holmgren's Permaculture Design theories, which suggest ways that we can exist in and interact with our environments that have a positive benefit, cause minimal harm and provide for our needs.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  When I was first training in counselling, I remember a tutor asking what kind of areas I would like to work in - and I said 'Anything but relationship counselling'.
  
  Now, it is probably the thing that interests me the most. I find such diversity in relationships and so much potential for increased connection, understanding and joy that I leave almost every session feeling a little elated.
  
  Note, I didn't say 'Couples Counselling' or 'Marriage Counselling'. We have so many different models for relationships now that I think its short sighted not to learn from different styles and models of relationships.

• What methods do you use?

  I listen, then I listen a bit more, then I talk a bit and then I listen.
  
  While my approach is integrative and uses many different methods as tools to change, at the end of the day, clients experience change when they can apply their own strengths, perspectives and skills to their lives in ways that align with their personal values.
  
  The basis of me helping another person on their journey is first to understand them as well as I can, help them to examine their own life from fresh perspectives and partner in designing experiments to find what will work for them to reach their goals.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  The first step of progress occurs before I even get involved - that moment where somebody decides that they want to experience change and is willing to move out of their comfort zone and seek out a counsellor to speak with.
  
  The second step of progress usually happens after 1 or 2 sessions, when the client decides that they will share what it is that is concerning them. Make no mistake - this is a huge and awesome moment and I always feel honoured by the trust that somebody show me by sharing their personal story.
  
  Following that, clients often will continue working with me for 8-12 sessions before they feel like they have reached their goals or feel confident enough to continue seeking answers on their own - though I do have some clients who will have a regular 'check-in' session even years after they initially began.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Once in a while I will go on a cleaning frenzy where I pick everything out of a draw or a cupboard, spread it on the floor, sort what it useful or not useful and then put everything back in a more cohesive and organised way.
  
  When I see a counsellor or therapist (which I do 3-4 times a year), I usually call it a Mental Tidy. It gives me space to go through the things that I have been thinking and feeling, figure out what has been helpful for me and what is holding me back before deciding what I want to maintain in my life.
  
  For me personally, this is one of the most powerful uses of therapy - to examine where you are at when nothing is particularly wrong. Then when hard times do arise, I feel more able to deal with them.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I love people. I love people's stories.
  
  I remember once having a friend say to me - 'You actually, genuinely like people when you meet them. Its weird.'
  
  Honestly, its the kind of weird that gets me out of bed in the morning and the reason that I will be working in therapy until I am physically unable to do so.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Literally - yes. My hair won't do anything right unless I've had a shower and then stuck it in place with whatever gummy hair product I have around.
  
  Figuratively? Absolutely. In a way, though, moving into counselling changed how a bad day feels to me.
  
  When I have a bad day now, its like an opportunity to learn something which might help someone else later. I can reflect on what happened, how I felt and how I eventually got out of it and maybe one day that will become something I talk about in a session when someone has a similar experience to me.
  

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  People who hold on to their viewpoints too firmly.
  
  By all means, have opinions, draw conclusions and say what you think, but hold onto these things lightly and be open to having your mind changed or your perspective broadened.
  
  In politics, holding viewpoints too firmly leads to the subjugation of minorities and subcultures, restrictive government, terrorism and war.
  
  In people, it leads to distrust, judgement and hatred of others.
  
  In yourself, it can stop you from understanding your own strengths and inhibit you from learning more about yourself and your capabilities.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  'Come and Get Your Love' - Redbone
  
  Honestly, since Chris Pratt danced to this in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, its hard to hear this without doing a bit of a strut walk - a brief moment of self confidence, whether it is real or feigned.
  
  But beyond that, I actually love the lyrics of this piece which, to paraphrase, say, 'Stop thinking there is something wrong with you because there isn't - and you can have the things you need if you seek them out'.