Uri Bookman

A conversation with Uri Bookman

• What led you to choose psychotherapy or counselling as a profession?

  My interest in healing and personal development began in the 1990s, though my career initially led me into business. After founding and running an IT company, I found myself increasingly drawn back to work that felt more meaningful.
  I trained extensively in psychotherapy and counselling and eventually made this my primary work. What continues to engage me is helping people understand the patterns that shape their lives and relationships, and seeing what becomes possible when greater awareness creates genuine choice.

• Which philosophical approaches have influenced your professional development?

  Buddhist psychology, Taoism and earth-centred perspectives have strongly influenced how I understand change. They share an emphasis on awareness, relationship and working with experience rather than constantly fighting against it.
  These influences complement my psychotherapy training and contribute to a therapeutic stance that is grounded, curious and compassionate, while still making room for responsibility and practical change.

• Which particular aspects of health or the human journey are you interested in?

  I’m particularly interested in the patterns we carry into relationships — how earlier experiences, protective responses and beliefs continue to shape what happens in the present.
  I’m also interested in the tension between acceptance and change: learning to meet ourselves more compassionately without using compassion to avoid responsibility. Much of my work ultimately comes back to helping people live and relate with greater awareness, authenticity and choice.

• What methods do you use?

  My work is integrative and trauma-informed, drawing primarily on Process-Oriented Psychology (Processwork), attachment-based work, IFS, EFT, experiential and somatic approaches, Jungian and shadow work, and Nonviolent Communication.
  I don’t apply these as a fixed formula. We use what is relevant to understand the patterns, emotions, bodily responses, and relationship dynamics occurring in your life — and to develop a greater capacity to respond differently.

• When do you think the client will start to feel that progress is being made?

  Some people experience greater clarity or relief within the first few sessions; deeper patterns usually take longer to change. I don’t think there is an honest timetable that applies to everyone.
  Early on, we’ll clarify what you want to change and pay attention to whether the work is actually helping. Progress might mean fewer recurring conflicts, recognising a trigger before reacting, recovering more quickly when things go wrong, or having greater freedom to respond differently.

• How has therapy made a difference in your life?

  Personal therapy has helped me understand my own patterns, face parts of myself I might once have avoided, and become more compassionate without becoming less accountable.
  It has also taught me that this work is never really “finished.” I continue to learn through personal reflection, supervision and ongoing development. That matters to me because I don’t ask clients to go anywhere I wouldn't explore myself.

• What do you like most about being a therapist?

  I value the moment when something that has felt confusing or stuck begins to make sense, when a person sees a pattern differently, a couple finally hears each other, or someone discovers they have more choice than they realised.
  I also value the trust involved. People bring very real parts of their lives into therapy, and being invited into that process is something I don’t take lightly.

• Do you ever have 'bad hair' days?

  Of course. I have difficult days, get things wrong and experience the same range of emotions as anyone else.
  What has changed through my own therapeutic work is my relationship with those experiences. I’m less interested in getting rid of an uncomfortable feeling and more interested in understanding what it might be telling me. And yes, sometimes a bad day is simply a bad day.

• What do you think is the most significant problem we face, in the world today?

  Disconnection — from ourselves, from one another and from the communities and natural world we belong to.
  When we lose that sense of connection, fear and division become easier. I don’t imagine therapy solves the world’s problems, but I do believe that people who understand themselves better, take responsibility for their impact and learn to relate across differences contribute to something larger than their own healing.

• Can you share the name of a book, film, song, event or work of art that inspires you?

  Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse has stayed with me for many years — particularly its exploration of finding wisdom through lived experience rather than simply adopting someone else’s answers.
  And, from a very different shelf, The Matrix. Its questions about reality, conditioning and choice still resonate with me. Apparently existential philosophy and science fiction make good companions.